02
Mar
10

man i wish ice rinks were as popular here as “costa del mar” stickers

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: The Badazz Award of Excellence
Tags: , , , , , ,

Becuase Hockey just won the lastest BAE.  Hockey?  It suprised me, too.  This is, in my opinion, the biggest suprise in the history of not just the BAE, but also humanity, and the universe.

Two weeks ago, hockey was my third least favorite winter olympic sport, behind ice dancing and nordic combined (i didnt know what it was).  Now, I still hate ice dancing, and america won in nordic combined so I like that.  As for hockey, the gold medal match sealed its fate.  It truly was Badazz.  I was hungry for more.

There are no ice rinks round here and I dont own a stick.  As curious as I was to see who was scripted to win “The Bachelor” last night, I passed and went searchin’ for an NHL game for Xbox.  Used, of course.  I just cant make myself drop 60 bucks on a game.  My girlfriend will for me, because she is awesome, but I wont.  I couldn’t find anything newer than NHL ‘06 so I bought Far Cry 2 instead.

Far Cry 2 looked good.  I am in to engrossing story modes, and I love sandbox games like Just Cause.  And it was good.  Really slow paced and captivating, and theres so much attention to detail I thought my TV would explode.  In the end though, it was like buying a plane ticket for Canada to play hockey, only to board a flight to Africa.  Upon arriving, I was handed a rifle and a told an arms dealer to kill.  Maybe last summer I would enjoy such a hunt.  But right now, my mind is still on hockey.  Still.

01
Mar
10

a bold addition to the list below

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: The Badazz Award of Excellence
Tags: ,

Hockey

01
Mar
10

an emptyness…

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: The Badazz Award of Excellence
Tags:

…that can only be filled with a new list of BAE nominations.

McDonalds Spicy Olympic Sauce (food)

US mens hockey team (people)

US mens nordic combined team (people)

Canada (other)

NBC (entertainment)

Apolo Ohno (people)

US four man bobsled team (people)

I may add more later when I get bored because the Olympics are gone.

26
Feb
10

smellympian

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: random musings
Tags: , , , , ,

Ahh Americans take 1 and 2 in nordic combined; Johnny Spulane picks up his third medal of this Olympics, and I finally clean that stink out of my fridge.  I just imagined Olympian’s refrigerators never smell.  I dont picture Apollo Ohno, returning to his apartment for the first time, medals around his neck, walking in and think “ugh theres that smell again.”  This espescially applies to figure skaters, really expescially.  And really, I grade people on how often I believe they smell something stinky.  You probably do it.  Girls take it more seriously.

Anywho, I felt success after finally nabbing that smell.  It was my olympics.  I would have lost to my mom, but she’s retired.  Its nice to know how those people lying flat on my screen feel every once in while.  Eventually the smell returns, and I know my four years have passed, and I compete again. Less tolerant to pain, possibly wiser, but also less flexible.

24
Feb
10

all the best stuff is served in a tub

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: food
Tags: , ,

High marks for Mcdonalds sweet something something Olympic sause.  Oops there is that word again.  What did you expect?

McDonalds Sweet Olympic Sauce

A solid contender for gold in the events "chicken sauce all around" and "sauce super G". Also, a likely two-time nominee for a BAE.

It is a has a very asian taste, although they do not identify it with a regional title.  I am in the dark on why this sauce is more Olympic than any other sauce.  I am certain, however, that it is pretty good.  In real terms, I have bought 30 more chicken nuggets than average this week because of this sauce.  Well played, McDonalds, well played.

I know in my heart, that this sauce, like the Olympics, will be gone soon.  But, like the Olympics, it is its short duration that makes me appreciate it so much more.  Lets face it, the only way they could make it better would be if they sauced the nuggets for you.  Hmmm.

24
Feb
10

patriotism fueled by lots and lots of medals

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: entertainment
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Plushenko invented his own medal.  Ahh the platinum medal, the first to be awarded, ever.  Now that is an idea an American should have come up with first, we just don’t loose enough for it to happen.  Its an idea so good it will be nominated for a Badazz Award for Excellence, a real award.

Despite the fact no one is entirely sure what “nordic combined” is (I say that despite watching the event last night), America took home 2 silvers from the…sport?  I hope Ice Dancing is over, that sport gave me real bad gas.  I really hope I didn’t miss four man bobsled.  Ski cross was exciting but it is one of the dumber sports.

Our skiing team dealt out a little medical oxygen explosion of their own, taking home somewhere between 4 and 40 medals, more than some Scandinavian nations. And you have to consider, that is the only way they travel up there, besides chairlift.

It seems like for every loss our Curling team has, the US wins another 6 medals it wasn’t expected to. I have to put myself in the shoes of the other countries. Mercy, I would hate the United States. Fortunately I am not on that side of the tracks, and while experiencing “loss” in the sport of curling is a fun change of pace, it kind of sucks.   I’ll stick to winning, its what we do best here in the states.

22
Feb
10

this is over the top but appropriate

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: The Badazz Award of Excellence
Tags: , ,

The US hockey team circled their wagons in defense, on ice slickened with the blood of their enemies.  At one point, the enemy broke through, and it seemed the battle was lost.  But a slash from the desperation of a lone attacker landed in the heart of the Canadians, and it was time to count the bodies.

The Olympics are many great things. They bring athletes from around the world to compete in one place.  For a few moments, war, religion, creed and skin color are all forgotten.  Ties break, truces form.  The best are recognized and given a physical symbol of their success.  The Olympics are one of human’s great achievements.  But sometimes, they become something more.  Certain athletes step higher, run faster, and dominate their sport.  On a world stage, with their national pride on the line, they move mountains.  This is the intangible that separates the Olympics from the rest of the stuff the NBC usually shows.

Sunday, the members of the US men’s hockey team were those athletes.  They became Olympic legends, as American athletes so often do.  They represented the best of what our nation had to offer.  They fought a war with no guns and no deaths.   They went up against a world goliath, they stared it in the face, and they won.  Afterward they walked from the ruin, carrying with them national pride, high medal hopes, and a fresh Badazz Award for Excellence.

Honorable mention: everything else, including curing.

22
Feb
10

its a strong list this time

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: The Badazz Award of Excellence
Tags:

Alot of buzz about the Olympics and how they would affect the BAE award and nominations.  Yes, I agree, this is all very exciting.

Curling (other)

Evan lysacek (people)

Shaun White (people)

Short track speed skating (entertainment)

Apollo Ohno (people)

The United States’ current medal count (other)

McDonalds Sweet Chili Sauce (food)

The US men’s hockey team (people)

And I think that about covers it.  The catergory “people” is new and will not be limited to this week’s awards.  Ice dancing didn’t get nominated, big surprise.  The winner will be posted whenever I’m good and ready.

22
Feb
10

the name “ice dancing” leaves little to the imagination

By philgram 1 Comment
Categories: entertainment
Tags: , , , ,

It is as it seems.  Ice dancing.  Most olympic events have names that leave some sort of mystery.  Nordic Combined, Curling, Super G: they all have names that tell a little but not much, luring you in for more.  But Ice dancing is what it says, and I do not understand how it makes it into the Olympics.  If slip and slide isn’t the summer Olympics, ice dancing shouldn’t be in the winter Olympics.  The winter Olympics are about sliding on ice or snow as fast as possible, with as many twists as possible, or as high as possible.  Ice dancing seeks out none of those goals, goals that are mandatory in my opinion.

With of course Curling being the only exception.

As much of a chore as it was to watch my first Curling match this year, I now crave the sport.  The US finally started winning, and I after watching about 8 matches, I have nearly learned about half the rules.  I guess I know how baseball fans feel, its boring, you don’t know why you watch it, but you just keep doing it.  However, part of the reason to watch curling is because in a short week it will be gone, and I will have to wait four years to see it again.  Baseball is on tv more than Friends reruns, and even more boring.  Thanks, but no thanks.

The Olympics are as rare and delicious to me as star fruit.  I have no problem setting aside the fun of being outdoors in the winter for hours of  watching sports I have never, nor will ever, play.  They make me feel patriotic, and inspire me to get in shape.  They will be over soon however, and I can go back to anticipating the death of NBC and pondering the cancellation of my cable subscription.

19
Feb
10

because it is about the only thing i do anymore

By philgram Leave a Comment
Categories: entertainment
Tags: , , , , , ,

In the suprise of my month, I was captivated by figure skating.  The one sport I thought would suck drew me in with a mix of patriotism and competitiveness and entertained me last night.  So here I sit, thinking that there isn’t a single event in the winter olympics that I will pass up to watch “family guy” over, when like clockwork, an ad for ice dancing comes on.  Ice dancing?  Really?  The Greeks are rolling over in their graves.  Fortunately there is always another channel.  Hockey, the old stand by.  Thanks CNBC.

Shaun White was badazz, but who didn’t expect that.  I assume most countries dont even attempt to challenge him in the halfpipe.  They shouldn’t.  Speed skating has been a great 20 minute fix twice a day.  And while curling continues to draw me in every afternoon, the US sure does lose a lot.  We come close, but we just keep losing.  Maybe tonight.

I know my girlfriend is being nice.  I have made her watch about 6 hours of Olympics thus far.  Every 20 minutes I throw out another weak argument about how we need to watch the next event; how the US has never won gold in this, or how we were supposed to do bad at that.  And she keeps watching.  The look on her face when I answered her questions of “how long do they last” told the real story.  Baby, we got 8 days left.  Better keep your iPhone charged.

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